Review
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“I recommend this practical and inful book to all parents
who love their children and seek to preserve their well-being
during and after divorce.”
—Hon. Sondra M. Miller, Retired Justice of the Appellate Division
of the Supreme Court, Second Department -- Hon. Sondra M. Miller
“In this book, Lauren Behrman and Jeffrey Zimmerman have given
divorcing parents a remarkable resource for ‘radical acceptance’
of one’s former spouse as he or she actually is—the starting
point for putting aside attachment to who is right and who is
wrong, and instead cultivating the conditions in oneself for
doing the best possible job of minimizing conflict and maximizing
good parenting. Behrman and Zimmerman translate wisdom from many
traditions—psychotherapy, brain science, dialectical behavior
therapy (DBT), mindful awareness, and much more into very
practical tools and techniques for moving from victimhood toward
competency and equanimity. While their book is addressed to
parents in high-conflict divorces, the techniques they offer can
make the challenges of raising kids in two households easier for
every divorcing couple.”
—Pauline H. Tesler, longtime family law spet, fellow of the
select American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, and founding
director of the Integrative Law Institute at Commonweal --
Pauline H. Tesler
“Loving Your Children More Than You Hate Each Other is a
valuable, interactive guide for co-parents caught in the
struggles of a high-conflict divorce. Authors Behrman and
Zimmerman cover a full range of emotional responses and behavior
patterns that hinder co-parenting success. With compassion and
wisdom, they offer strategies for detoxifying messages and
generating positive alternatives that build bridges toward
safety, respect, and cooperation that support everyone in the
family.”
—Rosalind Sedacca, divorce and parenting coach; founder of the
Child-Centered Divorce Network -- Rosalind Sedacca
“Expertly weaving contributions from our understanding of the
grief process, DBT, mindfulness, and their own extensive work
with high-conflict co-parents, the authors provide professionals
and parents a guide to healing and building respectful and
functional co-parenting relationships, even when they would
rather keep fighting. The beneficiaries of this well-organized,
practical book are children and building a societal ethic of
cooperative shared parenting.”
—Matthew Sullivan, PhD, founder of Overcoming Barriers, a
nonprofit organization that provides training and programs for
high-conflict shared custody; coauthor of Overcoming the
Co-Parenting Trap
-- Matthew Sullivan, PhD
“Loving Your Children More Than You Hate Each Other is an
easy-to-read, practical guide for parents to reduce conflict and
recover from divorce by focusing on the needs of their children.
Parents will identify with the emotional challenges that are
described and, through meaningful exercises, move into a new,
more resilient and centered place. Behrman and Zimmerman walk
parents through this recovery process, incorporating vignettes
parents can identify with and ideas from brain science,
mindfulness, and DBT to develop skills and techniques that reduce
anger and build coping. This is a must-read for parents in
conflict who want to move on, focus on raising y and
well-adjusted children, and learn life skills that make them feel
like heroes, rather than survivors or victims.”
—Robin M. Deutsch, PhD, ABPP, director of the Center of
Excellence for Children, Families and the Law; professor in the
clinical psychology doctoral program at William James College;
and coauthor of 7 Things Your Teenager Won’t Tell You
-- Robin M. Deutsch, PhD, ABPP
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About the Author
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Lauren J. Behrman, PhD, is a clinical psychologist with over
thirty-three years in independent practice helping adults,
children, and families work through transitions. She has
evaluated and treated children and families since 1976 at
Schneider Children’s Hospital, Nassau BOCES, and as chief
psychologist at the Child Development Center of the Jewish Board
of Family and Children’s Services from 1985-1994. Behrman
completed her postdoctoral training in child, adolescent, and
family psychoanalytic psychotherapy at the Postgraduate Center
for Mental in 1990. She has taught and supervised doctoral
candidates, was adjunct professor in the graduate psychology
departments at Long Island University, Yeshiva University, and
New York University. She is a frequent presenter, author,
teacher, and trainer for professionals in Basic Collaborative
Divorce Practice. Behrman is a founding partner of The Practice
Institute and the Center for Advanced Professional Education at
University of Redlands in Redlands, CA. She is in independent
practice in New York City and Westchester County, NY. You can
find Behrman on the web at www.laurenbehrmanphd.com, and can read
and subscribe to the authors’ blog and newsletter at
www.mydivorcerecovery.com.
Jeffrey Zimmerman, PhD, ABPP, is a licensed psychologist with
offices in New York City and Westchester County, NY, and
Connecticut. He has over thirty-five years of experience working
with families and individuals experiencing the stress of
separation and divorce. He is coauthor of articles on divorce, as
well as two related books: The Co-Parenting Survival Guide and
Adult Children of Divorce. Zimmerman received the Distinguished
Contribution to the Practice of Psychology Award from the
Connecticut Psychological Association for his work with
high-conflict families of divorce. He is trained as a mediator,
parenting coordinator, and collaborative divorce professional. He
is a frequent speaker, trainer, and mentor of other professionals
and graduate students. He is also founding partner of The
Practice Institute. You can find out more about Zimmerman on the
web at www.jeffzimmermanphd.com.
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